Man, I've noticed so many television shows that are all about learning to love your naked body without plastic surgery.
Those corsets women were socially obligated to wear until just a few decades ago are actually, according to the host of How to Look Good Naked, a great way to embrace your curves. They flatten your fat and give you an hourglass figure.
And if you watch the Canadian show Style by Jury, you will learn that getting porcelain veneers for your mouth and laser treatments for your skin will make it easier for others to look at you and for you to look in the mirror! Have other problems these procedures can't fix? Don't fret! You can layer your face with make up to conceal these imperfections. Soon no one will be able to recognize you! Isn't that what you want?
If you're still ugly after trying all of these things, you could always try Botox. I know for me, it's the only way I'll be able to get rid of those hideous crows feet. You know the ones that prove to people you've laughed and smiled a lot in your life? Ew. No one needs to know that I've been happy! Or how about that disgusting permanent crease I'll probably get between my eyebrows. People will know that I've been concentrating!
Still ugly? I pity you and I'm sorry to have to say this, but you really need plastic surgery. It's the only way you'll feel better. You need to take the risks of anesthetic and endure the pain of surgery recovery. You need to risk the complications like leaking breast implants. Sorry, honey, but that's the way it is. Beauty is pain.