Saturday, March 13, 2010

Dangerous Rain/Lucky Left Hand

Today I took my piece of !#&@ Dollar Store umbrella for a walk as it tried to pull me into the sky like Mary Poppins. The wind kept blowing the spokes outward, creating a force that pulled me upward when I tried to walk with the umbrella broken and outward when I put the umbrella in front of me to try to fix the spokes. Sometimes I shook the umbrella widely; other times I just held it in front of me and let it pull me down the street; other times I collapsed the umbrella and whispered swear words, refusing to put it back up until the rain got heavy.

It must have been quite a sight: me wearing my yellow trench coat shaking a broken purple umbrella. Its spokes were naked and the tips of them were threatening to poke my eyes out. A freak accident seemed likely since the small handle and my weak hand and arm gave me little control over the violently waving purple monster. I decided to take the risk rather than hold the umbrella with both hands. I thought if anything good came from the walk, it would be that my left hand I had in the pocket of my coat was warm. How I envy you, Left Hand. You never have to write anything or be exposed to the cold.

You may be wondering why I chose to subject myself to the dangers of a rebellious umbrella on a Saturday afternoon. Well, I had a cat to feed. What I won't do for animals and money. We all know I need both right now.

Maybe I'll use some of my cat-sitting money to buy a new umbrella.


  1. Sounds like a very "interesting" episode!
    Yes... I guess you need a new umbrella!
    Take care
    Kisses and hugs

  2. Thanks Lorenza! I think I want one of those long umbrellas that have the round handle. Very stylish!

  3. The same thing (getting carried off by an umbrella) happened to my mom around 2 weeks ago while she was shopping with my sister.
    And my sister described it as mom getting carried off just like in Mary Poppins.
    Seems to be an epidemic.........

  4. teehee I can just picture it :-) When I lived in Dublin I had many similar experiences. The bins on the sidewalks always had broken brollies poking out of them. I learnt that I was fighting a losing battle against the wind so I bought a long waterproof coat with a hood that tied under the chin and on those days I'd leave the umbrella behind and just walk with my head down and my hood up!
    Love the image of your purple monster :-)

  5. Linda, I'm glad I'm not the only one!

    Terri, it seems like by wearing this amazing coat you have, I'd be sticking it to the rain.