Monday, February 21, 2011

An Outside View

If aliens watch North American commercials to learn more about earth dwellers, they may make these assumptions:

That mothers excitedly lurk in doorways with Bounty paper towels and bottles of Mr. Clean to clean up their husbands' and children's inevitable and completely preventable accidents involving spaghetti sauce and toy cars,

That women are obsessed with eating yogourt and "treat" themselves to slivers of chocolate cake and low-fat miniature cookies,

That men value beer and football over relationships,

That animals can speak like humans, but without opening their mouths, and they only talk about how much they love food, cell phone plans and insurance,

That most of us are ill,

That we are idiots,

That there are too many commercials.

Unless these are sociologist aliens who know that commercials don't reflect reality and that corporations think (or know) that women may be more likely to buy yogourt if they are made to feel that they need to lose weight and that yogourt will help them do that.


  1. Got a kick out of this entry. It's so true.

  2. Wait a minute! You mean I can actually put down the spray bottle and paper towels while I am in the house????

    A great perspective here!

  3. Frightening really if the Aliens go by commericals in an effort to understand. Still, sometimes it does seem as if men do value beer and sports over relationships, don't you think! :)

  4. Now, wait a minute, Ann. We men would be lost without a woman in our lives. What would we do if there was no one to yell out to: "Honey, can ya' get me another beer, and hand me that remote?!"

    I would think that aliens capable of spying on us would be so advanced as to see us only as little snacks in the food chain, for instance: popcorn. Something in a box they would munch on while watching an inter-galactic movie in 4D.

    By the way, in the commercials of the 50s, not only were women busy mopping up the kitchen, they did so with hair coiffed, in lovely dresses, and high heels!

  5. another thing they would believe is that all adult males are completely brainless, inept, clueless, and stupid.

  6. Haha… Sadly, perhaps, those aliens would (probably) have a better grasp on what we’re about than most of us do.

    I mean, most of what I believe about humanity has (probably) been gleaned from watching music videos and cable news.

  7. Dom - Ha ha, thanks!

    Bossy - Yes, put them down! Go live your life! Thanks.

    Ann - I wouldn't know! He he. Thanks.

    Mythopolis - You mean aliens wouldn't be our friends? Damn... Thanks!

    John and Regina - Good point. It's so offensive to men. Thanks.

    Katy - Yes, it seems that we humans are removed from reality, doesn't it? Thanks!

  8. I don't want to bust anybody's bubble about aliens, but if aliens should visit, they have probably had a long inter-galactic ride, and are bound to be hungry. and, if you cannot point them to a McDonald's real fast? You are going to be invited to (be) dinner.