I have a cold

Despite everything I've been through these past few months -- hell, my whole life -- I never make fun of people for complaining about a cold. It is awful! My throat hurts; my sinuses are congested; I'm coughing. All I wanted today at school was to crawl into bed and rest. Not feel sorry for myself, as I'm actually pretty happy despite being sick, just rest. It is so satisfying to give my body what it needs. I suppose I'm happy because I don't have to go to school tomorrow, and so I won't. There are few things worse than the threat of missing work due to absence. I'm also happy that my instructors are okay with this. Everyone at my school is so nice and seem to genuinely want me and all of my classmates to succeed.

The cold is compounding my pre-existing issues of course. My heart's been extra sensitive since I got the cold and I feel especially tired and wobbly. How I didn't fall asleep in class or on the subway I'll never know, but I sure am proud of myself for staying alert! I've kept my sense of humour too, although it is a tad cruel: I found it therapeutic to laugh at the awful contestants on American Idol. Yes, illness helps me realize my strength. It's a test. After six months off sick, I certainly needed a test.

Other tests will come along, though, that probably will stress me out or have some consequence. When I have a job, work I miss one day will likely accumulate the next day. I may have to be off work sick during a probation period and so miss a day or so of pay. It's okay, though. I have savings in case I get into a real bind and I will disclose my health issues to my employer. I won't work for anyone who will try to guilt me into coming for work, threaten to terminate me, etc. Who knows! Maybe I can do a bunch of work from home. That would suit me well, as I often feel the healthiest when I don't have to exert myself or be consistently active. Plus, I am such a homebody, hence my url name.

I thought of these potential stressors and solutions a lot today because staying home sick tomorrow was a real possibility. Also, my sister just found a new apartment! I'm so happy for her, but very jealous. I imagined myself living in her new place and commuting to work from there. It won't be long before I get to do that too!