Relapse

I'm frustrated and disappointed that my month-long streak of good health has ended -- at least for a little while. I have pain in my skin all over. It hurts more when even the slightest thing chafes against it. My doctor told me once that this is viral neuropathy. Basically the virus inflames the nerves. It's harmless, really, just uncomfortable.

I am also having another asthma flare-up! Seriously, this is the fourth one since November. Why? The last one was over a month ago and lasted for over a month. What will this one be like? I have so many questions. I mean, my asthma never completely got better after my last flare. I think I was compelled to go for runs and walks to prove to myself that I was better and to try to prevent the asthma from worsening. Obviously that didn't work. What WILL work?

A couple of weeks ago my pharmacist, at my mom's request, submitted a prescription request to my doctor, showing him that I'd been on Advair 500 mcg, the maximum dosage about seven years ago. For those of you without asthma, Advair is a controller inhaler, meaning I take it every day, regardless of how I'm feeling, to reduce and prevent asthma symptoms -- at least to minimize their severity. It doesn't ease asthma symptoms while they are happening. I have a rescue inhaler for that.

During my last flare up, I used a 250 mcg Advair inhaler twice a day my mom had leftover from a cold. I improved a lot, so I decided to only use my 500 mcg that the doctor prescribed once a day. Now I think I'll start using it twice a day, as per my doctor's prescription.

I feel so defeated. Just a few months ago I was still taking Flovent, a controller inhaler for milder asthma. Now I'll be taking two puffs daily of the maximum dosage of Advair. I'm wondering how I would be feeling if I wasn't taking Advair, or if I wasn't on any controller inhaler at all. I don't think it would be dangerous. I don't get full blown attacks. I never feel like I can't breathe. Unlike last time, I'm not having chest pain and I can speak full sentences without coughing or taking a breath. I'm hoping it won't get worse. So far I'm just wheezing, coughing up mucous and feeling winded.

I'm not only disappointed that I'm feeling sick again, but that my active life, the one I wrote about so happily in this blog regularly for over a month, will end. I will keep the animal sitting jobs I've committed too for this week, but I won't be going out with friends or for walks until I improve. That's for sure. I don't want to go anywhere. I just want to sleep. I definitely don't want to dress up.

I don't want to make anyone think I'm depressed. I'm actually pretty happy, especially considering how I'm feeling; I'm just dreading the loneliness, boredom, doctors appointments and feeling ill constantly. I've been thinking about stuff to do. I really should start reading novels again, buy a video game for my Nintendo DS, maybe learn to knit? I'll definitely be sleeping a lot. Tomorrow I'll clean my room and change my bedsheets. Maybe I will ask my mom will help me. I must minimize dust which can definitely aggravate asthma.